Friday, 1 January 2016
So today is  the first day of 2016 and have I made resolutions? gone for a walk? or done something constructive ? .. the answer is no. I have spent most of today resting and sleeping on the sofa

Not from having a late night seeing new years in, I did see midnight but only briefly when I woke as the fireworks outside started  so at least I could turn to say happy new years to my hubby before going back to sleep.

Think back to 5- 6 years ago and staying up would have been no problem, a few small drinks and the fun of new years was all within my grasp.  J was in bed for 7 so I could have stayed up.. but growing a baby takes a lot of my energy I've decided an its just dawned on me in 13 weeks Ill be starting maternity leave for what I'm expecting will be my last time.

I am still full of anxiety with this pregnancy, my next goal is for the 4th of Jan when Ill be 24 weeks.. My goal is to get to that viability stage then not go into labour in that week like I did with J . I am progressing with this pregnancy small goals at a time, it is my coping mechanism.

I'm still waking on day at a time and now its 2016 its becoming more and more realistic I will have another little baby in a few months !

Thursday, 15 October 2015

Well it could well be happening, a little brother or sister for J.  I’m 12 weeks pregnant so I should be able to start enjoying my pregnancy now right ?  Start having those fantastic pregnancy feelings you read so much about ?

You read and hear so much how people enjoyed their pregnancy, and was a fantastic time in their life.  Watching that bump get bigger, feeling those kicks and going on shopping trips to all the baby shops. I am struggling to see all these points right now, they feel so far from reality, a work of fiction or rose coloured nostalgic memories from a broody mum wanting another child.

Maybe I should explain my scepticism of the perfect beautiful  pregnancy and also state this baby I’m expecting is very much wanted and already so much loved….

1)            I am constantly on edge, scared of miscarriage – you may say that’s a normal fear and can relax soon. I don’t think I can, as what was written in my green notes about previous pregnancies .. what is written there tells the route of my fears …. 1 + 18 ( for those of you not been pregnant before it refers to amount of pregnancies and children you have , and I have J plus 18 angel babies who didn’t make it past 14 weeks)

2)            So after I get past 14 weeks I could start relaxing right ? Well I thought that with my pregnancy with J.. I set little targets with him, and told myself once I got to 24 weeks I could stop being so nervous and start really enjoying the pregnancy . That didn’t happen. I hit 24 + 5 and found myself in labour then having a cervix stitch put in, steroids given and put on bed rest. J was born at 27+1 ( more of this journey can be read in the pages on the blog

I think time will only tell if my anxiousness, feeling on edge, scared to tell people I’m pregnant , scared to buy anything or even let myself be happy I’m expecting will go and I get all the feelings we dream and read about
Monday, 6 July 2015
Since my stepson was around 7, we have done an annual camping trip. I have always felt strongly about kids having the opportunity to get away from it all, with a few simple toys like a balls, kites etc.

We have been to some great campsites over the years and have done many repeat visits to the good ones.  We had to take a break from the normal holiday in 2012 as I wanted J to be a bit older and stronger before we took him camping . We had always just got low end tents to go camping in, until the family grew.

In 2013 we purchased a Coleman Da Gamma 6, some camp beds, and a few new accessories, with the aim the tent would do us a good few years as it was a decent make and quality.

That was the aim until last year..........

We ended up camping when the tail end of Hurricane Bertha hit the UK, and the tent did us our holiday but the winds took its toll.  Over the past years we had never experienced weather like this, and our camping trips generally went without a hiccup. The tent did keep us sheltered and it was standing at the end but very crippled. When we pulled it down we seen the full damage of the tent.

With splits in the steel poles, the guy rope tags being ripped from the main tent fabric, poles bent in weird shapes, I was glad we spent the money on a decent tent but also resolved in the fact we would have to buy a new tent for next years trip.

When looking at the options this year, and my not so young body, I decided I would like to look into the options of a trailer tent. I knew that I wouldn't have the money for a new one so decided to look at the prices of the tents we would look at getting for the family, then look at the cost of second hand trailer tents. I found one that would be cheaper than the tents we were looking at, and went to look at it. The previous owner had a obvious and genuine reason for selling and was happy to show us it in great detail. I was sold ....

We brought this in Feb, which gave us a chance to get the things needed for it, having our first trip out in it in May for a long weekend over the bank holiday. J being older now, he had so much fun just running around, playing outside, taking small walks and just generally camping. He was so sad when we packed up and told me he wanted to go camping 6 times this year.

This started me thinking, why couldn't we make this a more often trip?  I think it will do him a lot of good just spending time outdoors away from the gadgets, tv and the mountain of toys he has accumulated.

Our normally annual camping trip has now turned into a more frequent trips, with the ease, comfort and space with the trailer tent

So far we have done 2 long weekend camping trips, with 3 more trips to come ....

A new direction to help my boy grow and learn as much as he can, have some family bonding time on a single income budget